TSAKANIN MAZA DA MATA WA YAFI YAUDARA?

Amsa Daga cikin matsalolin da samarisuke dashi a tasu soyayyar sun hada da 1Mata nasan wasunku zasu yi mamaki idan nace muku
yawancin maza suna yin soyayya ne
kawai ba wai dan sun shirya yin aure ba, kawai su dai burinsu ace suna da budurwa ko kuma suna soyayya, amma batun aure kuwa wannan ba ma ya gabansu! Abin gasa ne a tsakani samari cewa wannan yana da budurwa wancan bashi da ita.
Da mu samari zamu ji shawara to da sai ince babu amfanin muyi soyayya da macen da muka san ba aurenta zamu yi ba kar ma mu tunkareta tun
farko idan musan bamu shiyar yin
aure ba, yana daga cikin dalilan da yasa ‘yan mata suke tunanin cewa duk maza mayaudare ne, saboda dama soyayyar ba’a san ma dalilin
yinta ba, sai lokacin auren nasu na

gaske yazo sai suga cewa  wacce suke soyayyar da ita ba itace suke son aura ba, sai su koma ga wata ita kuma ta farkon sai tace an yauda reta Ku kuma mata shawarar da zan baka anan itace

1 Duk saurayin da yazo muku da
soyayya kuma kuka yaba da halinsa to ku saurareshi, idan yayi muku bayanin abinda yazo dashi na game da soyayya kuma to sai ku nemi ya baku wani dan lokaci da zaku yi tunani a kansa Hikimar hakan shine cewa shi zai samu damar qara bayyanar da soyayyarsa a lokacin da ku kuma kuke qara karantar halayensa kuskurene namiji yatakura mace cewa sai tace tana sonshi a lokaci daya, sai ka bata lokaci ta gama karantarka tukuna a lokacinda kai kuma zaka yi ta qoqarin nuna
mata jarumtakarka ta ‘da namiji dan ka saye zuciyarta

2 Sannan idan kuka karbi soyayyarsa
har soyayyar ta fara ginuwa kuma sai ku fara tattauna batun aure, banga dalilin da zai sa soyayya tayi tsaho har zuwa
kamar wata biyu ba ba tare
da an fara maganar aure ba. Zai iya
yiyuwa budurwa ance ta
fito da miji shi kuma saurayi yana
lissafin sai nan da shekara
biyar zaiyi aure, kunga kenan idan
baku tattauna ba baza ku gane hakan ba

3 Idan aka samu dacewa masoyan
biyu suka yarda zasu auri juna kuma suka yarda akan lokacin da zasu yi auren to sai a gaggauta shigo da manya cikin maganar, wannan zaisa kowa yasan cewa abinda gaske ne kuma hankalin kowa ya kwanta,
kama daga su masoyan, iyayensu da
duk sauran ‘yan uwa da abokan arziki. Duk saurayin da kika ce ya turo manya ya kama yi miki hanya-hanya to ki sani cewa akwai matsala a tare dashi.

4 A lokacin da kuka riga kuka tsayar
da wanda zaku aura to ku daina kula sauran samari, duk wanda
yazo kuce masa kuna da mijin aure, karku sake kuyi tunanin
zaku iya samun wanda yafi na farko, domin kuwa ko mutumin da
yafi kowa zama salihi ne yazo dalilin yaudarar wancan da kuka yi sai Allah ya debe albarkar abin koda anyi auren da sabon sai kuga ana ta samun matsala, babu wanda zai auri wani sai wanda Allah SWT ya rubuta a cikin Lauhil-Mahfuuz

2. Matsala ta biyu da mu samari muke da ita wacce muka yi
tarayya da mata a ciki shine ruwan
ido. Duk da dai namu ruwan idon yana da bambanci dana mata; su mata saboda saurayin ne zaizo yace yana so to ruwan idon nasu zasu jira nehar sai wani yazo, amma mu maza da yake mu muke zuwa
muce muna so to duk macen da muka ce tayi mana to fa hakanne. Yadda maza muke namu ruwan idon shine a lokacin da muka hadu da wata wacce ko dai take da wasu abubuwa na halitta da tafi na baya ko kuma wacce tafi iya kisisina,
rangwada, yanga da iyayi; to nan da
nan sai kuga ta qwace saurayin

3. YAUDARA: Akwai tambayarda take
yawo sosai a bangaren soyayya, wacce in dai za’a zauna
maganar soyayya to da wuya a gamata ba tare da anyi wannan tambayar ba, tambayar kuwa itace

A TSAKANIN MAZA DA MATA
WA YAFI YAUDARA?

Duk da dai kowa yana iya qoqarinshi
wajen ganin ya bayar da amsar wannan tambayar tare da hujjojinshi; amma ya kamata mu gane cewa dalilan da yake sa maza yaudara sun bambanta
da na mata! Kamar yadda muka fada
a baya cewa yawancin dalilan da suke sa mata yaudare basu wuce saboda abin duniya ba, su kuwa maza bayan kyau da tsarin siffar mace da
yakan sa su canja budurwa; wani babban abinda yake sa maza
yaudara shine SHA’AWA!!! Kasancewar sha’awar namiji tafi ta
mace nesa ba kusa ba yasa yawancin maza basa gane
banbancin SO da SHA’AWA. Bincike
ya nuna cewa mafi yawancin lokutan da namiji zai kalli
mace sai sha’awarsa ta
motsa, hakan yasa wani lokaci sai
namiji ya nutsa cikin kogin soyayyar mace amma bazai gane so ne
ko sha’awa ba har sai
zuwa ranar da ya santa ‘ya mace. Idan akayi rashin sa’a ya santa ‘ya mace kafin aure to a irin haka ne tunda dama sha’awace amma bai gane ba sai kawai yaji ta fita daga ranshi
tunda ya riga ya biyar buqatarsa da
ita, hakan yasa nake bawa
mata shawara a kullum cewa duk irin soyayyar da zasu yi da
namiji kar su sake su bawa namiji
kansu; saboda bayan sabon
Allah SWT da suka yi da rage kima da darajarsu a idon
saurayin to kuma akwai yiwuwar
saurayin zai gudu ya barki
tunda ya dandana romonki!!! Idan
kuma ya zamo shi wannan
saurayi mai yi miki son sha’awa ya
sai bayan ya aureki ne ya
sanki ‘ya mace, to anan ma mace
takan fita daga ran namiji tunda dai sha’awarce dama ta ja shi, a
irin haka ne zaku ga
kulawar da namiji yake bawa mace ta ragu, sai dinga cewa ko
ya daina sonta ne? SHAWARA: Shawara ta ga maza anan itace ya kamata mu gane cewa

DA HANKALI AKE ZABEN MATAR AURE BA DA ZUCIYA BA

abinda hakan yake nufishine karka biyewa macen da kaji kana sonta ba tare da kasan dalilin da yasa kake sonta ba, kamata yayi ka zauna kayi tunani ina son mace mai addini,
mai kama kai, mai tarbiyya, mai zuwa
M Islamiyya, mai iya karatun Qur’ani, to idan ya zama cewa dan haka ka zabe ta a matsayin mata to kulluma ka kalleta zaka ga cewa wadannan
abubuwan fa sunana, ko sau dubu
zaka kwanta da ita baza ka
iya goge mata wadannan dabi’u masu nagarta nata ba. Amma
idan ya zama cewa haka kawai kaji
kana sonta babu dalili to
lallai kyawunta da tsarin jikinta ne
yake burgeka, wato dai sha’awace, ta hakanne da anyi auren bayan kamar wata daya ka gama saninta waje da baya sai kuma kaga ai bata da wani
abu da ya rage da yake burgeka, sai kawai kaji ka daina sonta daga www.hausanet.ml